There we were, enjoying a thoroughly nutritious ‘n’ delicious microwavable spagetti something with last minute dash of pesto for flavour, after an hour with Lily Allen (actually quite nice, btw. In a nonchalant kind of way. Six-and-a-half out of ten. Oh go on, seven. Fuck it, eight. She gave good copy), telly on in the background for company, when up popped JLS off-of X Factory on the lunchtime news and one of them (Baby Jesus knows which one. We just know he’s not the primordial dwarfed-sized one who looks like Eartha Kitt. And we don’t mean a young Eartha Kitt, we mean Eartha Kitt as she is now) did quoth that up there. If you can’t read, it says, ‘People have said it’s like the Beatles all over again.’ We almost shat the pesto out of our eyes.
Are you fucking kidding us? Delusional to the point of hilarity, one of the members of the best boy group since B*witched has actually compared him and his co-BoyzIIMen-a-likeys to the most successful group of all time. That’s all time. Time? All of it. All. Time. Not a couple of weeks until the next lot of bland-u-likes come along. But all. Time.
All this because JLS off-of X Factory did a gig in Croydon, a bunch of trouts in Primark turned up, some of them started punching each other (nice fans, JLS!), and all of the ITV news channels (funny, that – lead story on GMTV, barely an afterthought on Her Majesty’s BBC) reported it like it was Hillsborough all over again. Wrong, wrong and more wrong.
That’s it, really. Just had to mention it. A problem shared is more promo for X Factory, as they say…
BIG PS! We just did a Google Image search for ‘JLS’, and a page of guns came up. JLS are named after a gun. Nice message for the kids. They should count themselves lucky they’re only punching each other at this stage.