Ellen Degeneres off-of Ellen’s a Cover Girl! Sorry, Cover Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl (with a rhotic ‘r’. OoooOOOoooh, rhotic).
She’s the face of CoverGirl and Olay’s new gunk, ‘Simply Ageless Foundation’, exploding the myth in one fail pay cheque that lesbians don’t give a lady garden about slap. As in make-up. We’ve been slapped by lesbians on many an occasion.
‘I’m thrilled to be a CoverGirl,’ quoth the Ell. ‘I’ve been practicing in my bathroom mirror for years… Now, finally, you’ll all be able to see it.’