[We je deteste emoticons, by the way, but sometime just sometimes, sometimes.]
A-Rod-cum-Dyno-Rod, the man who too many denials suggest is bumming Madonna, is a treat for the senses. We’re just eatin’ up his Gap basics jersey under T look, his pants from Burton’s menswear, his fingering of the ballsack… it’s all so becoming. And by the looks o’ those lumpen thighs, it seems Dyno-Rod’s also been eatin’ up everything he can get his Madonna-twitchin’ sausage fingers on. It’s all very, Why, Madonna, why?
We’re presuming Madonna can have any man she wants. Mostly speaking. Something to do with wealth and power and wealth and power s’more, and also who wouldn’t want the anecdote with which to show off to their mates? So to settle for a cross betwixt the black guy off-of Hear’Say (who Wikipedia reliably informs us is called ‘Danny’) and Dame Sir Trevor ‘can’t even read off an autocue’ McDonald frankly flabbergasts us. That’s gasts, with a flabber. Flabber of gasts. Us.
And whilst we’re on the matter, Dyno-Rod also has sausage tits. Which a) we’re allowed to be snooty about ’cause we went to the gymgaysium for seven whole minutes this morning (not including shower time. A record, surely?) and b) because he’s a sportsman. We’re not entirely sure what that means, but we’re reliably informed by Wikipedia that sport involves movement. Movement, we’re reliably informed by Dr Hilary off-of GMTV and fluffy hair, means a loss of calories.
Do you wanna see Dyno-Rod’s sausage tits? The tits we’re being snooty about? Also, in order to provide a rounded piece of journalism, we’re including a picture of Danny off-of Hear’Say – so you can make a direct compare ‘n’ contrast for your very selves. Now that’s special
And now for our separated at birth moment… ta-daaaaaaaaaaa!