Karen Krizanovich: An American Bitch at Christmas

KK, and that's not just her bust size

It’s Christmas and maxing the credit cards isn’t as much fun as it used to be, mostly because they were maxed already. We’re all dragging our buff bums around, pretending to be frivolous, while French bankers in New York slash their wrists and the headlines say, ‘Dust Bowl Warning!’ It’s enough to make you revert to saving soap slivers in old onion nets and wearing vintage clothes because you have to…

But what is Christmas, after all? An excuse to go to midnight mass to scope out the cute guys despite the fact that the Pope hates us? An excuse to listen (yet AGAIN) to David Sedaris’s Crumpet The Elf? A reason to remember that you really do love your family and not just that you can buy a better flat when they die?

No matter. Your Christmas can’t be any worse than Joan Crawford’s 1949 Christmas. That year, the ex-porn star who hated wire hangers said that she makes her children give up something they really love, “otherwise they don’t really learn the value of giving”. If you don’t believe that, hear it with your own ears. Over the jump…

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One comment to “Karen Krizanovich: An American Bitch at Christmas”

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