Imagine thus: Gay, an inch taller, and four shades tanner than this…

Hold on to your KY Jellies, people… Chris Evans off-of chest, has a gay brother.

*wee? White*

And straight from the potty-mouth of the straight brother his very self, Gay Bro, as he shall now be referred to, is ‘about an inch taller and about four shades tanner than I am. He’s a very fit young man’.

We will of course be the judge of that as and when we get our dirty mitts-in-Dior-Homme-fingerless-gloves on him, but in the meantime, let’s permit our minds to wander into Gay Bro territory. Whilst simultaneously reigning in the tan thing, by at least two shades. There’s tan, then there’s dirty protest…