‘What the whatsit? It’s past the sixteenth hour on the bleakest day of the year and we still haven’t had a suitable sing-song yet’

Don't do it!It’s offish; today is the most depressing day of the year. Psychologists like to call it ‘Blue Monday’. Apparently the cold climes, the failure of all our New Year’s resolutions, and the realisation that that Christmas party clinch in the stationary cupboard has given you a nasty itch and c. and d. means that today is the day we’re mostly likely to throw ourselves off a building – or at least into a vat of hot chocolate.

In our depression (natch) and Monday afternoon failure to think of anything other than the obvious, today we will mostly be taking our Prozac and keeping away from all sharp objects to New Order’s cheenius 1983 track, yep, you guessed it, Blue Monday. At least try to enjoy…

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