That really could be anyone under that peaky bonnet. But our Russian translator, Argos, £2.99, tells us it’s Victoria Beckham.

Er, vodka?

Momma always told us sucking your thumb was for babies and/or the special needs children who we had to be nice to even though they didn’t understand the concept of boundaries – yet those babushkas over at Russian Vogue seem to think it’s a hot look.

They also seem to think covering the top half of Victoria Beckham’s head is hot look. One out of two, as they say, isn’t bad going. Neither is OCD-man-down-the-gymgaysium’s record 37 minutes in the shower this morning (we left, then came back to check. What do you take us for?), but that’s a whole other story. Mostly involving rub-a-dub-dub-one-man-in-a-cubicle, Boots’s entire stock of Sanex (Dermo-Protector, natch) and repetitive hand movements.


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