Oh okay, if you insist. Sylvia Stallone has worked his twinky little body to within an inch of next door’s decking in order to star in a film that no-one will see. Okay, so Jason Statham’s in it and if he gets his kit off we may pop by with a family bag of Revels – so long as Tilly takes out the coffee ones first. Don’t want any nasty surprises, andcetera – but really, can you expect anyone of reputable repute to go and pay recession-hit pennies to watch a filmic device called The Expendables, about a South American dictator in the fictional country of Corza? Really? Really? Really? Real. Ly?
*’Source’ taps shoulder*
Oh, Dolph Lundgren’s in it too! Now we’re talking. Oof, oof and another oof for good bumming. He’s probably, ooh, around 137 now, but even as a twinkle in our Momma’s gin-addled eye we had a soft spot for the old Scandinavian Honey Manster. By which we mean hard spot. By which we mean yes, exactly that.
Oh okay, let’s look at a carefully selected selection of pictures of Dolph Lungdren, who at the grand old age of 51 can still bum us all the way to Stockholm. And back again if he’s got the air miles…