So, the Daily Hate/Fascist/Cunt/Mail has this morrow splashed on a story about two kids who, instead of being given hook, line and sinker to their grandparents (the mother’s a heroin addict, see), they’re being adopted by two gay men.
*falls off chair; struggles to get back up, has a stroke; dies; has lovely out-of-body experience involving getting bummed*
The grandparents, naturally, are ‘devastated’.
Let’s not for a moment think there would even be a Daily Mail-newsworthy story if the kids were being adopted by straight people. Oh, but before we get on our dolly soap boxes, people, the ‘devastated’ grandparents are quick to point out that they’re not homophobic.
‘We are not prejudiced,’ said the prejucided – but devastated nonetheless – grandparents.
Let’s look at the evidence:
– You’ve brought up a heroin addict. This suggests you’re not the best of parents.
– One of you has angina. You could drop dead at any given moment.
– The other has diabetes. Bang goes the diet of Haribo and Quavers (they’re from Edinburgh. Natch. ps. We’re allowed to say that. One of the me-me-me massive used to live in Edinburgh. We also have black friends. And Jewish ones. And, god-forgive, gay ones.)
– You’re homophobes.
– Apparently, the girl child in question is ‘wary of males’, thus stoking the nice tale of dirty ol’ gayness that the Daily Mail is touting. Er, if said child is, as they say, wary of males, then she really ought to get over it.
– Oh, and of course, the dirty Roman Catholics had to get involved. Look…
‘This is a devastating decision,’ said the dirty Roman Catholic, whilst simulatenously bumming a small boy. Probably. ‘There is an overwhelming body of evidence showing that same-sex relationships are inherently unstable and reduce the life expectancy of those involved.’
And there’s an overwhelming body of evidence showing that Roman Catholics are cunts.
And what the freak do you mean, ‘reduce the life expectancy of those involved’? *sees gay man across street; develops cancer* And let’s not forget, we’re talking about straight grandparents (or are we?!) who’ve brought up a daughter who takes heroin for a living. And when we say living…
Need we go on? Really, what would the Daily Mail do without hate, people? Fold, that goes without saying, but Her Majesty’s United Kingdom of Great Britain would, without question, be a much nicer, kinder, happier, dollier place.
And when, oh when, oh when will this dirty publication get shut down for incitement to hatred? They’re very happy to splash on Prince Charles calling his dear, Asian friend ‘Sooty’, calling for a public flogging, yet the next day are telling its gullible and retarded readership that being gay is wrong.
In the words of that lovely atheism advert…
‘Stop reading the Daily Mail and start enjoying life.’
*has brainwave; asks for millions of pounds in donations to put advert on bendy buses*