Let us rephrase that. Welcome to Matthew Mitcham – hello! – who not only looks good enough to spit-roast in this itsy-bitsy bikini brief but can also turn out a few flips and screws that so impress an Olympic judge that he got the highest ever marks at the Chinatown Olympics last summer.
Jeez, he must be worth a fortune, maybe he should be my boyfriend, you’re thinking. Well, though we’re sure he’s top-of-the-range boyfriend material (especially in so little material, if you know what we mean *pats hair in style of Mae West*), he may not be able to keep you in the style to which you’ve become accustomed as he cannot get a major sponsor. Mainly because he is of gay.
Shame on Nike and Adidas and Umbro and Shredded Wheat and all those companies who think they can’t give a good gay Olympian a pat on the back in case nutcases might read something untoward into it.
Anyways, he talks about that in this interview in Advocate (oh, them pictures!) and we at me-me-me pledge all the money we have received for our Stop Reading the Daily Mail and Start Enjoying Life campaign to his coffers.
Oh, no, we don’t want anything in return. Maybe just a Holly Hobbie thank you notelet.