The Fag Hag hasn’t seen such levels of hysteria over a bit of white powder since a host of Big Brother rejects last descended on Movida. It’s a little bit of snow people not Revenge of the Killer Rapist Zombies on Crystal Meth. Just work on your ‘Last Christmas’ video look, strut your Pammy Anderson yeti boots and hit those mean streets.
‘Police are advising people not to leave the house!’ warned a woman on GMTV in an Oasis blouse and ill-advised highlights. Oh calm down and hire a stylist, dear. ‘Do not head out unless it’s a dire emergency!’ cried a fugly man who had something to do with the AA. Honey, get back to a bar with the other alcoholics and stop dishing out travel advice.
The Fag Hag as it turned out did indeed have a dire emergency so has trudged across town and braved the avalanche in full Shackleton regalia to attend to it. Well… my roots hadn’t been touched up in three weeks and let’s face it, when people start stopping you in the street mistaking you for the late Lynne Perrie emergencies don’t get any more dire than that.