For a start, we know that Bikkembergs as a brand has moved into chav territory a little but surely anyone, you know, actually playing football would go to a brand like Adidas.
Secondly, footballers don’t – unfortch – wear these dolly little shorts where you can see their cocks through.
Thirdement and lastly, a launch which features hundreds of men in pants and football boots storming towards you while Shirley Bassey belts out ‘Light My Fire’ doesn’t exactly scream straight man. Though it sure does scream. Want to see it, screamer?