Guess who’s playing child molesters – sorry, priests – in a new movie! It’s Dolce and his good friend Gabbana!

Open your mouth for this host

They do like black, they’re not afeared of the odd outsize crucifix so it looks like perfect casting for our old mates Stefano (he’s Gabbana, the one at the back) and Domenico (that would be Dolce, baldyman at the front) who star in a movie called Nine, which comes out round about, ooh, November.

Co-starring in the flick, which is being filmed as we speak – like right now this minute, someone is in rollers, someone is shouting at their assistant and coffees are being served up in paper cups – are all our favourites: Sir Dame Judi Dench, Marion Cotillard (you know, Piaf from that film last year), Penny Cruz, Sophia Loren… OK, so you have to put up with Nicole ‘I love to dance’ Kidman and Dame Daniel Day-Lewis but apparently you can’t have everything. 

It’s a musical and it’s directed by big old dolly Rob Marshall of Chicago (the film not the town or the deep dish pizza company) fame. We officially can’t wait.

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