Last night, the cream of international musicality celebrity descended upon that place near Earls Court tube where they do dogs and craft shows, to celebrate what lucky bitches they all are at the annual Brits Ekland awards! Spotted knocking back the screwtop Mateus were flawless, catwalk supermodel Janet Street Porter, a 40-something lady from Melbourne who’s had too much surgery (no, not her, the other one, who pretended to write ‘Torn’) and Louise Walsh – hurrah for the Brits Eklands!
The Fag Hag has personally never been a big fan of this particular shindig finding that it’s a bit like whipped cream and sex – the concept is far more pleasurable than the slightly stinky reality. But if gurning 20-something record execs who like David Schwimmer, or bleached old Annie Nightingale music pluggers with red wine teeth are your thang, then you’ll be in pee-wire and pussy heaven!
So how did it all look from the Fag Hag sofa?
Well, that little miss no personality one, Duffy, wore some nice frocks (although Fag Hag Mum was tut-tutting at her premature double chin. ‘She’ll look like Kathy Staff in a few years,’ apparently).
Take That tried to go all Katie Grand high concept styling with their black rims, but just looked a bit Variety Club Sunshine coach.
Girls Aloud had fabby Charlene Tilton hair.
Chris Martin was oddly likeable.
But Faggy’s favourite of all was, naturellement, the quite sublime Alannah Carr. What on earth did we all do at these awards ceremonies in the days before Alannah Carr? I can’t remember but like Puerto Banus, I don’t ever want to go back there…