The Lucky Bitches (TM) do the Oscars (also (TM). Honestly, what’s the world coming to).

We, are, the, LUCKY BITCHES.

So the preamble to this story will go something like this:

‘Hugh Jackman? You can sing ‘n’ dance on our jacksy any ol’ time. What? Now? Oh go on…’

So anyways, we’re j’adoring that Kate ‘I’m from Reading’ Winslet and Penny ‘And I’m from e-Spain’ Cruz won, and kinda feeling similar about the Sean Penn thing. Also the Slumdog thing, even though we don’t quite get what all the fuss is about.

But what we’re mostly j’adoring with a capital J’A and DORE are two of our favourite sibling groups of all time, the Collins sisters. This is for why:

– The hair. Fun in a compare ‘n’ contrast manner. In that Jackie’s is au naturel, and hence a bit scraggly. Whereas Joan prefers the wig approach, hence the mane of a middle eastern child on a vitamin B-rich diet. Replete with Rita Sullivan cantaloupe ‘lights.

– Their utter disdain for, well, everyone. When interviewed (lamely) by Carla Romano (stage whisper: ‘Eugh’) off-of GMTV outside the Vanity Fair party, the conversation went something like this. 

GMTV bird: ‘It’s the author Jackie Collins and her superstar sister Joan!’ [general gushing, etc.]

Jackie: ‘Yeah, hi.’

GMTV bird: ‘So what did you think about our Kate winning?’

Jackie: ‘I wanted Angelina to win. But yeah, you know, good on Kate.’

GMTV bird: ‘And it was another good year for Britian.’ [Yadda yadda, yadda yadda.]

Joan: ‘Yeah, and the only American to win anything is dead.’

*insert tumbleweed/car screeches to halt/small child get run over, andcetera* 

So apart from the gaping innacuracy of Auntie Joanie’s comment (Heath Ledger’s Australian, Sean Penn won something and he’s American, plus a few blahs), it was all about the dead-pan delivery of Joan’s killer line. Which was just about the highlight of GMTV’s Oscar coverage, which was just about unwatchable owing to Carla Romano, who comes with an ‘it is advisable to do a skin check 24 hours prior to using this product’ warning.

The end.

*bows*

Oh and a ps. For anyone who doesn’t get the Lucky Bitches reference (Shame? On you), have a gander at this…

pps. French subtitles? Quoi?

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More dolly #content:

13 comments to “The Lucky Bitches (TM) do the Oscars (also (TM). Honestly, what’s the world coming to).”

  1. Oh, those Lucky Bitches are high-larious. J’adoring along with you…

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  2. i tivo-ed that! i have enjoyed Joan’s ‘faux pas’ over and over again already this morning. pure genius.

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  3. Never mind Joanie’s faux pas. Me Me Me lost the dictionary. Main? Hair = mane.

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  4. Notice they changed it, Sis? Isn’t it heart-warming that they read our comments. I, for one, am heartened in the heart.

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  5. I’m glad you cleared that up, Sis/me me me. The OCD me would’ve had a sleepless night tonight, otherwise.

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  6. Good ol’ me-me-me, taking notice of our comments. Shall we put it to the test? WE WANT COCK. And lots of it. Come on dears, quicks the word, and swifts the motion. Push push.

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  7. i am a stickler for the grammar so well done you.

    ditto the cock.

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  8. Happy the correction was made? I’m in the mood for dancing….

    If this is the start of the Me Me Me (TM) Listen ‘n’ GrantProgramme, then I vote that old soak Mockingbird gets her cock and you can send me cash money. Please. Lots of it.

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  9. ^ Sis, I’m in the mood babe, so let the music play.

    As soon as this site is dripping with cock, some weathered notes, with large traces of coke will be winging their way to you. I thank you from the heart of my bottom.

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  10. I have had that kind of thanks before. Please try and use a coaster next time.

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  11. i have been in love with Joan Collins forever. and she was old and wearing wigs back then. she is fabulous. to die for….

    “… and he’s dead.”
    priceless.

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  12. […] Christian Bale learnt everything  he knows from Jackie St Angelo. […]

  13. […] what anyone’s thinking even inviting her, we cannot imagine: The Stud and The Bitch is hardly The Lucky Bitches, is […]

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