Ladies and gennelmen and undecided, consider this your morning’s moose alert.
*air-raid siren goes off, not unlike during the Blitz*
One half of the Partying Potatoes (TM) was yesterday seen walking up and down the catwalk for Luella Bartley in a fashion that brought to mind bad, bad, and bad things. Mostly Pixie Geldof. Which is never a good thing. That’s her up their in our Heat stylee circle of shame. Pretty, no? (The circle!)
For Pixie Geldof is, we can exclusively reveal, a trout.
Now before anyone comes out of a bag on us, we’re not ones to criticize indiscriminately. You know that. But the Geldof progeny are what is known in the business as ‘cunts’. S’true. Ask anyone.
And riddle-dee-diddle-dee us this: Why are the Partying Potatoes (TM) given so much air time? Is it because they are icons of being nothing in particular, therefore proving popular amongst plain girls with no discernable purpose and/or talent? Is it proof, ladies and germs, that girls who really should have tried harder at school can still get attention? Ooh, there’s a whole BA at Loughborough University in there somewhere…