Someone in the orifice just went, ‘Ooh, Lost Boys.’ (We know! *makes universal sign for crazy*). But that made us do this… *makes universal sign for touching self*

a) This isn’t taken from Lost Boys

b) But it is Jason Patric, who

c) we j’adored in Lost Boys and j’adored even more in

d) Your Friends and Neighbors, in which he played a

e) gay. Well, we think he played a gay. We must confess (our loneliness) that we’ve never actually watched Your Friends and Neighbors, we just forwarded it to the bit in the sauna where we-think-gayer Jason Patric was in nothing but a

f) lily white towel.

ps. They didn’t have X Tube when we were 14. It was this, or the back pages of newspapers. Or changing room interviews on Match of the Day.

And this, ladies, is the actual footage in actual real life. Fancy… (Plus a few choice pics of Jason Patric his very dolly self. We aim to please, thankings.)