We did a straw poll in the orifice and decided that the best thing about this story is the VPL. And when we say ‘straw poll’… *pats hair, andcetera*

VPL

Before we start, we feel mean about using the term ‘shrimp’ here but, well, he is. A shrimp. You know, yank the head off and Bob’s your uncle/Frank’s your aunt, we’d bum him. Not that we’d bum a headless person. That’s just rude.

Now that we’ve started, can we just say the obnoxious waistband thing is so, so, so over. So over, it’s just so.

Secondly, when they put the seam right down. The. Middle of the. Money shot. That’s just rude too. It’s like watching a moving picture with someone doing cartwheels in front of the screen. It’s like watching porn with a mucky smudge on your spectacles. It’s like perving through a bay window at people in an adult predicament and a fly squats on your binoculars. It’s just not on.

And that’s before we’ve even gotten started on the name. Timoteo. One consonant change and you’ve got a well-known brand of shampoo.

*Mmmmm, Timotei/Timoteo/the mens*

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4 comments to “We did a straw poll in the orifice and decided that the best thing about this story is the VPL. And when we say ‘straw poll’… *pats hair, andcetera*”

  1. I loved Timotei…

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  2. I’d do him

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  3. Dolly, bona and portable to boot!

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  4. Can we campaign against those lines down the front of underwear? A smooth front lends itself so much better to VPL.

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