Look at the Partying Potato (TM)! Just look at her! Look!
Was bigger a mess ever seen? And what the fuck is that face? That’s the face of someone who thinks she’s hot. She no hot. Not even luke-warm. Not even teppid. Not even chilblained hands popped under a Dyson Airblade for a moment (ten seconds is all you need, people. Ten seconds…). Not even a nuclear-heated McDonalds chicken nugget left out on a windy day. Not even the four-day-old dregs of a dirty cappuccino in the bottom of corrugated paper cup. On a scale of one to hot, Peaches Geldof is a very healthy Baltic.
*makes a note of that*
Oh Peaches Geldof. What will we do with you…