News Flash (Gordon. Oh hello): Madonna is app and arently in talks with a gennelman going by the name of Christian Audigier – who is of a fashion pursuasion – to design a range of clothes that most people will buy then put straight in the bin.
Christian – or Christ, if you’re that way inclined – specialises in ‘luxury streetwear’. Whatever for? So Madonna’s going to get out her Crayolas and come up with a range of, and we quote from somewhere, ‘tattoo-inspired and diamente-encrusted t-shirts’ whilst Christ hovers over her desk with a rubber. By which we mean an eraser. By which we mean a rubber. He may even have a hole-punch.
We’re predicting with the help of sanity, that the clothes will be a pile of shite. But blessed by someone from that Kabbalah Community Centre, so you’ll be helping poor people. Or not, as the case may be.
*pops a diamente on end of nose. It’s Friday after all…*