It was a night of a thousand glittering gays and female girls down that funny masonic lodge thing in Covent Garden yester eve, as the Cadbury’s Creme of the beauty industry turned out to pat each other on the back and eat
each other out delicious ‘n’ nutritious snackage at the annual P&G Beauty and Grooming Awards… S’all true. S’also true we drank our own body weight in glittering booze, as well as that of the person next to us. And the person next to him. And the person next to her, who just happened to be Lizzie Jaggar off-of Mick ‘n’ Jerry.
Which leads us nicely to the run-down of the famouses, which were mostly Micha Barton in a very perky mood, a peppering of tellybox slash wireless presenters, and Paul Sculfor off-of shagging Cameron Diaz. That’s a picture of ‘im up there. Oooh, innee ‘ansome, etc. And yes, deary readers, we touched him. Like that *licks finger, runs it down hefty cleavage*
We’re not sure whether he was aware at the time, but frankly when one is a famous one has to accept these things. It’s like when one is a Peaches and/or Pixie Geldof, one has to accept hateful abuse. It’s like when one is an Ulrika Jonsson one has to accept that one is a cunt. It’s like when one is a painter and decorator, one has to accept an ongoing relationship with white spirit. It’s like when one drinks one’s own body weight in Champagne for Lulu one has to accept one may get pissed off one’s face. It’s just life, frankly and johnly.
And there endeths today’s lesson.