Can we just talk about last night’s Coronation Street? No really, can we?

In a word, how genius.

We had the to-ing and fro-ing of the ’secrets unveiled’ sesh down the Platts’ gaff (how we very j’adored Tina calling Gail ‘darlin'’), the Lloyd colouring-in-Jeremy-Clarkson-on-the-front-of-a-telly-mag sesh down Streetcars, that little Simon fella who - despite the child thing working against him - is utterly watchable and is possibly the only child-ling we can manage, Becky in general… But what had us really wetting our loins in an Ulrika baggy flange manner (only less cunty) was the scene involving comedy genius Blanche, Deirdre ‘Fag Ash Lil’ Barlow, and her philandering-with-Stephanie-Beecham(-though-only-Gay-Dad-knows-it) husband, Kenneth. (NB. The transcript’s kinda long and we’ve things to tend to, so we’ve just written out the last bit. You can watch the whole thing here, from 4.50-ish.)

Blanche: What was that series where everyone’s slept with each other and they lived on boats? Always had trouble cramming their shoulder pads in the cabins?

Deirdre: Howard’s Way?

Blanche: Beautiful piece of television. [Continues reading Chit Chat magazine] Oooh, nasty gash. 

Maybe she was looking at this picture of Britney Spears…