Look at them! Lovely Carol. Lovely Jackie. Lovely Jane up on the end. Fucking awful Sherrie on the left, wet as a wet discloth that has got wet upon by Ulrika Andrea and what-the-fuck-has-it-got-to-do-with-you (sung, obviously) Lesley second in from right. Together they are Loose Women, the people you won’t even know if a). you don’t live in the UK (it’s like The View, only fluffier) and b). if you have paid employment, as it’s on at lunchtime.
Well, they walked away (teetered probably, if there were drinks being served) with the award for Best TV Daytime Programme at the prestigious (it says here) Television and Radio Industries Club awards last eve just past. And good for them.
And not wishing to rain on their parade/piss on their chips (we’ll leave that to Ulrika – we’re putting paper down when she comes round in future), can we really have any respect for that award when the best newscaster in the country is a man who cannot read off an autocue, who cannot pronounce half of the words on that autocue and who has the charisma of one of Ulrika’s used Tena Lady Ultras? Can we? Hmmm? We’re asking.
Short answer: No, we cannot. Longer answer: No, we fucking cannot. Longest answer: No, we fucking cannot so please go to bed Mr Sir Trevor McDonald.