Oh Lilet Allen. Just as we all thought you’d put away your ridicularse behaviour, then you go and spoil it all by doing something stupid like walking down the street arm in arm with Kate Moss. Now don’t get me wrong, you’re actually not a bad looking bird (especially when you factor in the genetic handicap of Keith Allen’s genes). You rock a heel well, you don’t go Lohan lunatic with the fake tan and you don’t hide your curves under a Garry Bushel. But for heaven is a place on earth’s sake, please don’t go and shoot yourself in the Louboutin by posing next to Kate Moss.
Because it don’t matter how good you felt when you were larking around posing prettily for the paparrazzi, when you see yourself in the cold light of day, striking a pose next to a piece of arse that damned hot you will always, always think – damn that bitch!
So the moral of this tale is, unless you want to end up looking like the little chimpy one on one of those evolution of man charts, do yourself a favour and avoid being snapped with the superspecies – stick to more flattering accessories. Anyone got a number for Sherrie Hewson?