The patron saint of attention-seekers must be on holiday or something. First up, we have our daily dose of ‘Stop press news! Jade: she’s still dying’ usually with some sort of twist about teaching her children about angels or ‘her last glimpse of countryside’ added to give it a breath of fresh air.
And it’s sad, but do we really have to go through this? We don’t know her and it’s bad enough when it’s like your nan or something without taking on the general sadness of people you’ve never even met.
Now we have Michelle Bass, the tart off-of Big Brother, who may/may not have cancer/cancerous cells like/not unlike/disimilar to Jade’s. Everyone hold their breath until the result of scans. Because it really is our problem.
And, news just in, Pete Burns is clinging onto life and celebrity (same thing for some people) by a highly polished fingernail. His new best friend The Daily Mail (remember: he sold a story saying that gay marriage was the popcorn, straight marriage the real movie) reports – mind you, underneath the burning news that Sarah Jessica Parker has quite veiny hands, so right up there – that the ‘You Spin Me Right Round’ (and nothing else ever) singer collapsed and was rushed to hospital on Saturday.
‘I’m in a very serious condition on 24 hours intravenous morphine for the pain,’ the ‘star’ managed to write on his website from his hospital bed, the information getting out there obviously much more important than, you know, recovery. ‘I’m critically ill…’ Yeah, got that message… ‘and under 24 hours observation and will be in hospital for quite a long time.’
Whatever happened to suffering in silence? Do you think we’ll be getting celebrities’ actual medical notes being given away in a special Heat supplement soon?