This was Monday night (we know it’s Friday. We forgot, then we remembered), and Kevin Spacey is being led by a male man along Soho’s glittering Old Compton Street, whilst to his left The Big Penis book is calling his name. ‘Kev-iiiiiiiiiiin, Kev-iiiiiiiiiin, Kev-iiiiiiiiiin, etc.’ Yes, it even said ‘etcetera’.
We have several things to say on the matter. These include:
– The Big Penis Book is a very nice book. Why wouldn’t you stare at it?
– Penises are good things. Why wouldn’t you want them?
– We – as in us – were hob-nobbing with Kevin Spacey mere hours prior to this incident, at London’s glittering and informative V&A museum, at the opening shindigaroo of their new theatre gallery. That gennelman up there wasn’t with him. An altogether more bummable gennelman was, however. And he didn’t have Geography teacher leather patches on his arms. *makes a note of that*
– There’s something about the bloke doing the leading – we’d say he was the top but that’s just rude – that makes us, you know… *shakes head; assumes foetal position; screams maniacally*
In conclusion, we did a straw poll in the orifice and seven out of ten of us would bum Kevin Spacey. Well, five would bum him and nine would be bummed by him, which averages at seven for the whole caboodle.
*draws a line, starts a new page*
What? Straight men are led by other men along Old Compton Street as they stare at The Big Penis Book all the time...!,