Meet Anjem Choudary. Hello! He likes to wear small knitted bonnets (beanies, you might call them), grow his beard right out and sometimes wear flowing dresses. He also sometimes like to call for all gays to be stoned to death. And not in a good way!
Yes, kids, he’s one of those. A hard-core religious person. And while the government of Her Majesty’s United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and Some Other Bits discuss whether people should be allowed to make fun of the gays, this gent has been calling for British ladies to have to wear the bhurka (black is SO not our colour), for people who get drunk to be lashed (well, if they’re drunk surely they already are lashed! Der!) and more importantly, for gentlemen of a same-sex persuasion to be taken out and stoned to death. With stones. Until they are dead.
‘If a man likes another man, it can happen,’ says Mr. C. You bet your sweet bippy, dolly. Happens all the time *pats hair in the style of Mae West* ‘But if you go on to fulfil your desire, if it is proved, then there is a punishment to follow.’
‘You don’t stone to death unless there are four eyewitnesses.’ Jeez. Thank goodness for that. But four! Think of the catering! ‘It is a very stringent procedure.’ Glad to hear it. Don’t want no sloppy stonings on our watch, thankyouverymuch!
‘There are some people who are attracted to donkeys but that does not mean it is right,’ he concludes. Maybe donkeys should wear bhurkas and then those with unusual tastes won’t be tempted. Or maybe we could stone donkeys to death for being dirty temptresses… Just a thought, Mr. C.