Oh no, wrong headline.
Try, ‘Michael Jackson Wants To Adopt a Baby’.
S’true. A real life baby. None of that Tiny Tears business or even a dog, but a real life, touch it and and it moves, baby. Fresh from a womb. A woman’s womb at that.
How do we know? The Sunday Express told us. App and aren and tly, he wants to pick one up whilst he’s in Her Majesty’s Kingdom of Great doing his little turns down the O2.
And in other Michael Jackson related news, he’s apparently decided to get to and from the O2 by boat, down t’London River, which in our experience is the best thing to do. Tube is obnoxious, buses are full of people reading the bible, but that zippy little boat thing you can get (word up – it has a bar and everything! And you can use your Oyster! Not for the booze, unfortunately. Just to get on…) is cheenius with a capital cheen. You just have to leave the show approximately half way through in order to avoid the queues. Swings and roundabouts and cul-de-sacs…