There’s nothing the Fag Hag loves better than a couple of old nanas on the rob.
And who are we to deny them the odd contra Chat Mag or loose pinky mouse from the Odeon pick ‘n’ mix? But when a celebrity old dear goes on the rob – well, that’s all our birthdays, christmases, bar mitzvahs and Harvey Milk Days come at once!
So imagine how many excited drag queen yelps I let out when I discovered that the England squad’s very own thug pin up ‘haven’t-I-see’-you-in-a-Triga-DVD’ Juanita Terry has allegedly a thieving old dear all of his own. That’s right! His lovely old mum Sue Terry and his lovely old mother-in-law Sue Poole, get on famously. In fact you could say they’re thick as thieves. In fact it’s been alleged you can literally say that, because that’s literally what the old loves have been (alirght old man with white wig and briefs – ALLEGEDLY) doing – liberating Tesco and M&S (aim high my darlings!) of its smoked salmon nibbles and pashminas.
Now Juanita is said to be so ‘mortified’ he’s using words like ‘mortified’ which don’t come that easily if you didn’t pay attention at school. The nanas themselves say it was all a liddle bid of a mix-up and will be trying to clear their name. And I say? Loving them! Why can’t Fag Hag mum show such fabulous ingenuity now and again?