In a world of dolly gay panties, what is the self-respecting straight-acting gay man to do?

Slowly, don't scare him

Honestly. Some of the men’s pants these days. You might as well be a Thai ladyboy. It’ll probably be stretch lace next. Oh, they already do stretch lace for men? You’ve got a pair on?

So, what to do if you want to give off those straight vibes even within the confines of a gym where men are doing each other’s hair? Choose the right brand, say we. Because brands speak volumes. Here’s a quick handy guide.

Calvin regulars: actually quite straight these days, though avoid anything with a metalic waistband. Girlfren’

Jockey: still underneath the gay radar (or gaydar – someone should make that a word!)

Levi’s: see above. Almost invisible to the gay eye. And not in a good way.

Fruit of the Loom: despite having the actual word ‘fruit’ in them, these are not a gay knick-knack. No sir.

Hanes: see above, only without the word ‘Fruit’.

Lonsdale: it’s all about boxing so, you know, dicey.

M&S: anything that says ‘authentic’ actually on it (‘authentic underwear’ as against what? White sliced bread masquerading as underwear?) has got to be left for those straight folks, surely!

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4 comments to “In a world of dolly gay panties, what is the self-respecting straight-acting gay man to do?”

  1. “White sliced bread masquerading as underwear” laughing *so* hard right now!

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  2. I’m thinking of something along the lines of wanting to be in that sandwich, but it’s not coming together.

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  3. sandwiched with “international jock” above would be about right, worried about the filling though

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  4. Those M&S ones really are tragic, aren’t they? Not that I’m given to dolly underpantage, you understand.

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