Honestly. Some of the men’s pants these days. You might as well be a Thai ladyboy. It’ll probably be stretch lace next. Oh, they already do stretch lace for men? You’ve got a pair on?
So, what to do if you want to give off those straight vibes even within the confines of a gym where men are doing each other’s hair? Choose the right brand, say we. Because brands speak volumes. Here’s a quick handy guide.
Calvin regulars: actually quite straight these days, though avoid anything with a metalic waistband. Girlfren’
Jockey: still underneath the gay radar (or gaydar – someone should make that a word!)
Levi’s: see above. Almost invisible to the gay eye. And not in a good way.
Fruit of the Loom: despite having the actual word ‘fruit’ in them, these are not a gay knick-knack. No sir.
Hanes: see above, only without the word ‘Fruit’.
Lonsdale: it’s all about boxing so, you know, dicey.
M&S: anything that says ‘authentic’ actually on it (‘authentic underwear’ as against what? White sliced bread masquerading as underwear?) has got to be left for those straight folks, surely!
In a world of dolly gay panties, what is the self-respecting straight-acting gay man to do?,