Got hay fever? Have a wank! (Justsoyouknow, Gok Wan is here to represent the concept of ‘wanker’ and not ‘wanking’, ok?)

CockWe’re not sure if the New Scientist is yanking our chain April Fool’s Day stylee with this little number, but personally having skim-read the facts we’re happily yanking our own chain *wink*. Yes, we are more than willing to try and test the theory that slapping your salami alleviates the symptoms of hay fever… not that we’re weakling enough to suffer from hay fever. Upset by a bit of pollen? Think of it as character building.

According to white-jacket studiers of white-weeing, the act of what is known as ejaculating/cumming/jizzing/hot-white-fatting/*ponders*/ancetera-ing relieves swollen nasal blood vessels, symptomatic of hay fever.

So the stuffy breathing, streaming eyes and snot rags of hay fever can be replaced by the stuffy breathing, streaming eyes and snot rags of a wank. Yay to medical masturbation! Actually, yay to any-old-excuse masturbation!

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7 comments to “Got hay fever? Have a wank! (Justsoyouknow, Gok Wan is here to represent the concept of ‘wanker’ and not ‘wanking’, ok?)”

  1. The face on it makes me want to kill. First him, then every stupid cunt who takes his word as gospel. Die, die, DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE.

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  2. ps. I’m talking about Gok Wan, in case anyone’s confused…

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  3. That Gok creature has put me off not only my wank, but my dinner and, to be honest, my life.

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  4. Gok Wan is repellent. Repellente, I tell thee. REPELLENTE!

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  5. Gok Wan is the sort of twat who not only Googles himself, but upon finding he is an object of hatred on the interwebs, just puts it down to jealousy amongst his ‘mo brethren. He is a beyond-reproach self-deluded gay. But Gok, honey, we ain’t jealous… we just hate you because you’re a vile, patronising, talentless twat who give the gays a bad name. Please denounce your homosexuality, then at least we won’t have to keep explaining you to our friends.

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  6. I wank all the time and don’t suffer from hay fever.
    See!

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  7. So much hatred!
    I would like to jump on the anti-Cock Wan bandwagon. Thanks.

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