Obligatory Oh-bummer story of the week…

Aww, god save our little Queenie

So ‘pparently the President of Americana has arrived uponeth our fair shores – didn’t you see the bright lights when he landed? That would be the glaring sun-shining-out-of-bottom effect. ‘S true. He’s here with his lady-wife – who everyone’s wet-weeing themselves over. Yes she’s tall, she’s not afraid of colour and she doesn’t have the letter box mouth of Cherie Blair or the ‘rabbit in headlights’ face of Sarah Brown, but she touched our Queen. Yes! Touched! With her own hand! What a fucking liberty. The Can Do No Wrongs have arrived to discuss worldly bits and bobs at the G20 summit – summit *hee* which has got a whole lorra people up in bingo-winged arms.

But any road, that’s enough of all that. What we really want to know is when did our Queen officially become a midget? Comparing midgetery this morn we discovered that the Queen is 5ft 4”. That’s right, 5 whole feet taller that Botox Minogue. And Prince Philip looks positively minuscule as well. However, as we all know, what he lacks in stature he makes up for in mouth as perfectly demonstrated yesterday when Barack Obama told him he’d just come back from a breakfast meeting with the Prime Minister, the Chinese, the Russians and David Cameron to which PP replied, ‘Could you tell the difference between them?’

Tee and/or hee.

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11 comments to “Obligatory Oh-bummer story of the week…”

  1. Prince Philip is a comedy genius.

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  2. I do love Prince Philip. He’s certainly one for opening his mouth and letting his belly rumble.

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  3. Maybe PP is so short because his feet are in his mouth and he’s only upright c/o his arse cheeks.

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  4. Yeah, and hands off Her Maj, ‘Chelle… !

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  5. move away from the majesty!

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  6. Oh Michelle SO did that on purpose. Of course they’re completely briefed in protocol, she just knew it would get a whole load of press. Publicity whore, that’s she.

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  7. From the angle I saw (I was reaching for a canape proffered by a butler, so only caught it out of the corner of my eye), Liz had her arm round ‘Chelle too, so it was kinda mutual. If not a lil bit lez.

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  8. Okay, seriously … I know HM Liz is really old … and has nothing to prove, being virtually Queen of the World and all but … she looks like my nan on a Tuesday. Where is her gay swat team? You don’t see the Queen of Sweden or the Queen of Holland walking around looking like that. [And, yes, I know first-hand that the Queen of Sweden *does* have a gay swat team to dress her!] I’m not suggesting HM Liz be made up like Joan Rivers … just a bit of style & effort, that’s all.

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  9. “If not a lil bit lez.”

    My dears. Blech. I just whiffed my scotch.

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  10. Oh Bunny honey, I’m gonna have to pull you up there… Now I love you like some of my own, but accusing the Queen of lacking in style? That’s like accusing Kylie of being talented. Her Majesty seeps style from every pore of her royal personage. Even her bad outfits are ‘bad’, to adopt an idiom from our American cousins. And let’s not forget – she is 82 (83 in a couple of weeks! Get thee down to Scribbler…).
    God bless you ma’am, and all you’ve sailed…

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  11. If you say so, Lulu ‘Pagne! But you must admit that particular ensemble above does NOT photograph well. Looks like a housedress.

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