So ‘pparently the President of Americana has arrived uponeth our fair shores – didn’t you see the bright lights when he landed? That would be the glaring sun-shining-out-of-bottom effect. ‘S true. He’s here with his lady-wife – who everyone’s wet-weeing themselves over. Yes she’s tall, she’s not afraid of colour and she doesn’t have the letter box mouth of Cherie Blair or the ‘rabbit in headlights’ face of Sarah Brown, but she touched our Queen. Yes! Touched! With her own hand! What a fucking liberty. The Can Do No Wrongs have arrived to discuss worldly bits and bobs at the G20 summit – summit *hee* which has got a whole lorra people up in bingo-winged arms.
But any road, that’s enough of all that. What we really want to know is when did our Queen officially become a midget? Comparing midgetery this morn we discovered that the Queen is 5ft 4”. That’s right, 5 whole feet taller that Botox Minogue. And Prince Philip looks positively minuscule as well. However, as we all know, what he lacks in stature he makes up for in mouth as perfectly demonstrated yesterday when Barack Obama told him he’d just come back from a breakfast meeting with the Prime Minister, the Chinese, the Russians and David Cameron to which PP replied, ‘Could you tell the difference between them?’
Tee and/or hee.