So, the picture may not be as dramatic as the ones The Daily Cunt pissed all over of B flying across the crowd on a trapeze but it was a). taken with nothing more sophistication than a humble pie iPhone b). taken during the full frenzy of seeing Beyonce in concert in Vancouver at just about ten feet away (OK, so we had spent the afternoon interviewing the ladyship in question but don’t make us brag in a disingenuous Facebook ‘mememe is… worried about what to wear to spend the whole afternoon sitting on Beyonce’s lap’ kind of way and c). we still can’t quite work our iPhone even though we were very early adopters.
Anyways, there now follows some things you might need to know about B’s I Am… concert, coming soon to a large-size stadium near you.
1. It’s genius and you never get bored not even for a minute. OK, just one hip-hop-style song that we didn’t recognise but even then we were kept busy looking at one of the male dancers’ bum cracks.
b). The Thierry Mugler outfits are HIGH-larious, especially the bra with searchlights coming out of the nipples.
III). Beyonce can REALLY sing and REALLY dance. And really sings and really dances. Britney take note: it does make a difference. Walking down some stairs is great but it doesn’t make up for, you know, musical ability.
D). When she flies across the room on a trapeze and they make her plummet almost into the crowd, you do really hold your breath.
Five). The crowd is mainly girls and gays… in a frothy frenzy, especially over ‘Single Ladies’ and ‘Irreplaceable’ and the opener ‘Crazy In Love’… Oh, and over the boy dancers with six-packs you could play the xylophone on.
And finally). You should go. We’re going again – and again! – when she gets to the UK in May.
*bobs respectful curtsey. Hears the Queen shout ‘Why does he have to be so LOUD?’ to Berlusconi (translation: ‘Shut the fuck up!’) Leaves room backwards*