Here’s David Beckham earning some much needed ready cash demonstrating a frankly shoddy-looking phone. There’s also a video where he goes ‘great’ a bit while wearing a very granddad shirt and tie. But how does his body compare to Ronaldo’s? Not well, we would say.
And how does it compare to the gaggle of Hamburg players, still muddy and sweaty from a knockabout, that we shared a lift at Manchester’s should-be-glittering-but-isn’t-quite Lowry Hotel yesterday? Not at all well. But they were wearing shorts that had gone semi-transparent with the rain.
Semi. *giggles, readjusts front trouser area*