Ban this filth!

Dis. Cuss. Ting.

When asked, in a polite way, which book in the whole wide world would they like to see banned – set on fire, maybe; launched into space, even – which heinous, vile sick-making scribblings do you think American people chose?

Was it perchance a book on how to make bombs for terrorists? No. Would it be something where women get attacked and cut up written for entertainment purposes? Nup. Would it be maybe something communist or fascist or extreme? Something advocating violence? Something racist? Maybe – this is it, we’ve got it – something where children are taught that unless they do as they’re told they’ll end up in perpetual agony? You know, something like the Bible or the Koran? Nah.

The book most Americans want banned is the children’s story of two male penguins who bring up a baby penguin. What? Male? Penguins? Baby? What kind of sick filth is this, we hear you cry as you lean over holding your hair back to throw up the remains of your Wagamama ramen noodles into a toilet bowl that has frankly seen better days.

Yep, a book written to reassure children that there’s no such thing as a regular family is the book most Americans would want to see banned. And there you have it, readers.

Should you wish to avoid this book and protect your family from it (we hear that if you pass it in a bookshop First Defence spray – as long as it’s administered immediately – can sometimes do the trick), it’s called And Tango Makes Three, which if you read it backwards is actually a message from the devil.

In second place in the list of Books We Want Banned – as compiled by the American Library Association from its complaints boxes – is His Dark Materials, a children’s book that suggests that maybe – just maybe – God doesn’t exist. It’s a dark world out there. We might actually put a light on. Or a candle.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

More dolly #content:

7 comments to “Ban this filth!”

  1. Christ, America’s fucked up.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  2. Please don’t tarnish us all with the same brush. Unfortunately, the retarded, right-wing, religious nuts in American outweigh us sane folk… And alas, it all comes down to religion warping the mind.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  3. (Most) Americans are fucked in the head.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  4. To be more accurate, religious people are fucked in the head.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  5. Let’s drop Tom of Finland books on the Bible Belt and see if that changes their minds.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  6. I bought ‘And Tango Makes Three’ for my nieces last year – it’s a really sweet book that, best of all, is based on a true story – the gay penguins and their chick called Tango still live at New York zoo!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  7. I would bet my entire pay packet that the results would be VERY different if you excluded the votes of: (A) People who don’t really read at all but take their kids to the library, (B) People who almost exclusively read religious & ‘inspirational’ materials, and (C) People who mostly read books with Fabio on the cover & the like. I don’t believe for a minute that this survey represents American readers.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Leave a comment