Fag Hag Diary

Ride 'em 


The Fag Hag has just returned from her fabulous jaunt riding black mounts hard in the Foret Nouvelle and her legs haven’t ached this much since that run in with a premiership footballer back in the day.

Fag Hag mum chose not to join in the saddle-based fun preferring to spend her time with a Thai masseur instead – well I didn’t ask, she didn’t tell. But on our last day after a brisk 2 and half mile walk we decided to take a little look round the local village for local people hoping to come across some potential auditionees for Britain’s Got Talent  – the type whose hair is untouched by product, who like wearing a Debenhams buttermilk court, and who adore singing songs in Monty Python falsetto from coach party musicals.

Sadly we searched under hill and dale winton and no sign of a local freakshow but what we did find was the best shop in the world. ‘Darling look!’ cried Fag Hag mum in her customary low key fashion (think Tina Turner addresing Madison Square Garden). ‘It’s a shop for bears! They should have one in Soho!’

And sure enough there was the best shop in the world, a Bear repair shop called, Bear It In Mind. ‘It’s so lovely,’ mused Fag Hag mum, ‘you can take all your old bears here when they’re past their best’. So any XXL frequenters reading this… congratulations, we’ve just found your new retirement home.

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