Because we’re sure she’s going out with a man 15 years her senior for his looks, charm and general people skills, right? Besides, she’s already shacked up with Timothy Dalton, so the woman has form.
But here they are – despite Biblical warnings that Melanie usually takes very much to heart as a Catholic who has been married for 28 years – brazenly walking down a red carpet at the premiere of Wolverine in LA, while he is married to someone else.
And if you think we’re being harsh – and surely even an old bigot like retarded Melanie deserves a little sunshine in his life – let’s just refresh our memories about what he said on the subject of gay men to a Spanish newspaper back in 1992…
‘They take it up the ass,’ quoth he (what, your girlfriend doesn’t?) ‘This is only for taking a shit [pointing to his butt]… But with this look, who’s going to think I’m gay? It would be hard to take me for someone like that. Do I sound like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them? What happens is when you’re an actor, they stick that label on you.’
Nice talk from a deeply Christian man (so Christian, in fact, he likes to rant about ‘dirty Jews’ when arrested for drink driving). So when GLAAD, the gay anti-defamation organisation suggested he might like to apologise, what did he come out with?
‘I’ll apologize when hell freezes over,’ said Mel, who probably has that date for the hell freezing over thing, what with his hotline to the Lord Baby Jesus and all. ‘They can fuck off.’
We can feel Jesus tapping his fingers on a table-top in anticipation of Melanie’s arrival at them Pearly Gates, can’t you?