Chanel No. 5

'God I hope it's a man doing that...'

Neck-sniffing, sepia, floppy haired man, Hollywood starlet being fawned over… it’s got to be the new Chanel No. 5 advert, n’est-ce pas? Mais of course.

Starring Audrey Tautou, a floppy haired man and some creepy neck-sniffing, the latest No. 5 ad epic is directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet off-of Amélie. And off-of e’er-so-slightly-obsessed by Audrey Tautou. Hence the former, the latter, and the other thing.

Its very pretty and it’s best feature is that it doesn’t feature Nicole Kidman going, ‘I love to dance!’; its worst feature is that it doesn’t feature Nicole Kidman going, ‘I love to dance!’, which is kind of sadistically watchable in the same way you just couldn’t drag yourself away from that advert for Disneyland Paris with the cunty kid going, ‘Mum says it’s just MAGICAL,’ whilst simultaneously loading the barrel of your gun (gun? What gun?); in a similar way to those Glade ‘Touch and Fresh’ ads, with whichever child they’ve rolled out talking about ‘poo’. The latest is, ‘I want to do a poo at Paul’s house.’ Honey, we all want to do a poo at Paul’s house but it’s about time you learnt life isn’t quite the bed of roses Mummy’s told you it is, you little shit.

You know, that sort of thing.

Oh ps. ‘It’s all gone! It’s all gone!’ (We actually forgot the exact line for that one, so we just Googled ‘Chinese child, poo advert’, and it came up straight away. Isn’t the world wide dolly web simply magical?)

Oh pps. So apparently, men who wear Chanel No. 5 are deemed cool. We’ll be the judge of that.

Oh ppps. So here’s the actual commerrrrrrcial. *bows; retreats backwards, slowly*




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Chanel No. 5, 3.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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One comment to “Chanel No. 5”

  1. I hate pretentious shit like this. Much prefer Dame Keira Knightley in her Madamoiselle one…

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