Sorry, not wanted here, pack up your things, please leave, goodbye, ta-ta, see ya, Stacey slaterz, tatty-b, byesy-bye, toodlepip, ta-ra *waves*

We aren’t fans of the dutty habit of smoking either, but banners? Really?

It’s been a long weekend in the United of K, during which time the nation sunbathed, drank until they wet-weed themselves and, it seems, compiled lists. While we were penning our ‘What Not To Eat During The Next Month Of Bikini Dieting’ list and Ulrika-ka-ka-cunt was paining over her ‘Still To Do’ list – which, can we add, was quite short – Jacqui Smith off-of Rollin’ with my Homies Secretary was thinking up a ‘Least Wanted’ list, aka ‘Top Ten Undesirables We Don’t Want Stepping Foot, Hoof or Claw Onto Our Shores’.

But who was on this list we hear you cry? A lot of people with names we can’t pronounce, neo-Nazi types, some obligatory Muslims (always a winner with Joe Public), and – last and definitely least – two of those Phelps creatures of ‘God Hates Fags’ fame. *claps a little bit*

So there’s the list of people we don’t want coming in, now who can we throw out?

*plucks names from The Hate Hat… Chris Moyles, Amanda Holden, Fatty Katona, The Daily Mail, Gok Wan, Myleene Klass, Heather off-of Stenders, Ant and/or Dec, that bitch on the Maltesers advert, Sherrie Hewson, Carla Romano, and pretty much anyone known as a ‘national treasure’ (see Trevz McDonald, Bruce Forsyth, ancetera).

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More dolly #content:

7 comments to “Sorry, not wanted here, pack up your things, please leave, goodbye, ta-ta, see ya, Stacey slaterz, tatty-b, byesy-bye, toodlepip, ta-ra *waves*”

  1. I hate to be pedantic me-me-me, but Carla Romano is, strictly speaking, already out of the country. What with her reporting from Hollywood every day. Or at least from a back room in the GMTV office with a green screen and a cardboard cut-out of the Hollywood sign.

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  2. True Bouncy, true but she still rapes the UK screens on a regular basis. Ooh, I thought of another one, Christopher Biggins

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  3. THE MUTANT GELDOF GIRLS. (yes, I know I am shouting and it isn’t the ‘done thing’; however, it is merely because of my disbelief that they weren’t at the top of the list to be booted into thearse end of anywhere else in the first place).

    Calms down. breathes. Has herbal tea.

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  4. Oh god, you’re right, Sis!!!! I knew there was something(s) missing. How glaringly obvious!
    DOWN WITH THE GELDOFS!
    I’m printing the t-shirts as we speak…

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  5. Put Kelly Osbourne’s name down too. Just because.

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  6. Piers Morgan, Kate Thornton, Gary Lucy, Ben Shepherd, Kerry Katona, Ashley Pearson, the idiot in the ‘Volvic Challenge’ advert, Dame Andrew Lloyd Webber, Richard Hammond, Lisa Snowdon, all T4 presenters past and present, Scott Mills, Will Young and the Saturdays. I think that’s enough to be getting on with.

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  7. And Jeremy Clarkson. He’s a twat.

    My mate also requests that we arrange for Chris Moyles to be publicly stoned before he is thrown out. It would make something interesting for telly on a Bank Holiday…?

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