The baby Jesus is gonna slap her in the face with his bible for this…!

Desperately seeking a brain...

So you know that retarded Christian (is there any other kind?) Miss California bird? Carrie Prejean? You know, the one who said she doesn’t think gays should be allowed to get married (boo, hiss, etc.)? Well, she’s only gone and got her baps out for some dirty pics.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, shame.

So, right, couldn’t give a flying rat’s vagina. We’re all for getting whatever bits out in the name of fun and outrage amongst ‘family’ groups, but we couldn’t help but wonder at the glowing-like-a-stupid-10-year-old-who-goes-on-a-coin-operated-sunbed-for-15-minutes-and-gets-70%-burns hypocrisy of it all.

Let’s put it in terms even a retarded Christian could understand:

Christian, believes in the baby Jesus, lives her life by the bible – to the letter, people. TO THE GODDAMN LETTER! – and as such thinks marriage is betwixt man-with-cock and woman-with-schtump only. No deviations allowed. The baby Jesus wouldn’t like it. He might come down off his high Shetland pony and punch her in the see you next Tuesday. Pretty? Not.

Only, thing is, retarded Christian doesn’t live her life by the bible, to the letter or otherwise. No ma’ams and ma’am-ettes. ‘Cause she doesn’t mind getting her melons out for photoshoots in order that dirty mens and selected ladies have something to stroke Delilah to.

This is what RC (retarded Christian) had to say on the matter:

‘I’m a fuckwit. Soz.’

Oh no, wrong one. She actually said this:

‘I am a Christian.’

(Same thing.)

Oh, there’s more.

‘I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.’

See, it’s funny, isn’t it. These ‘good Christians’ who take the bible as gospel, only find it in their good hearts to adhere to the bits that suit their prejudices. All the other stuff – you know, no nylons or else you’re fucked; no shellfish or else, well, you’re fucked, etc. – they choose to ignore. And seriously, what is it with the gay thing? Like, one minor reference in the whole freakin’ thing, yet you’d think God had taken homosexuality as his main plot device. Seriously, cunts, choose your battles.

Ooh and ooh, we’re not even starting on the ‘don’t mock her, she’s entitled to her opinion’ bollocks. Yeah, we’re all for that *waves flag of democracy*, but had she said interracial marriage was immoral, she would’ve been hung, drawn, quartered and served at Obama’s 100-day anniversary buffet by now.

We rest our case, m’lord.

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7 comments to “The baby Jesus is gonna slap her in the face with his bible for this…!”

  1. Oh it gets me horny when you have one of your rants, me-me-me…

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  2. Agree? Could not more if I tried.

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  3. I love the idea of the baby Jesus slapping anyone in the face with his bible… Mad!

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  4. Christianity is just hypocrisy, prejudice & hate wrapped up in some badly translated poetry with artwork by Michaelangelo. EVOLVE. MOVE ON. DO GOOD.

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  5. If God was so against homosexuality you’d have thought he would have made it one of the Top Ten Commandments. No one bangs on about coveting each others’ oxen – and that goes on a lot round our way – and yet they defend their homophobia by holding the bible in your face. I reckon God just wasn’t that fussed. Not just bad people, ignorant bad people.

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  6. And she’s obviously a vain cunt. I’m sure God thinks vain cunts are, well, cunts.

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  7. This woman represents everything I hate in a person.

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