Who/what/where/when/how?
Let’s look at the evidence:
- A blue hand
- Emporio Armani pants
- Three large fingers
- A dirty leather jacket
- A leg. Maybe two.
Who lives, in a house like this? Who’s dropped trou’ in the back of a limo after a night on the razzle slash dazzle slash getting off one’s tits in a wankery nightclub called Boujis, like this…?
ps. We didn’t realise until flicking through the tellybox channels, bored off our tits the other day, that Through the Keyhole is still dragging its sorry ass round the digital waves. And Sir Dame David Frost is still presenting. And the lucky lady with the Lloyd Grossman gig (segue: Lloyd Grossman? Chef? We’ll be the judge of that) is none other than Lisa Snowdon. God love her, but she’s shite on the telly.
Another segue: Lisa Snowdon? Britain’s Next Top Model? We’ll be the judge of that.
Backintotheroom… So this bloke flashing his kecks is… *drum roll*…*another drum roll*… *and another*… *and ano… oh hurry* Niklas Bendtner.
*dramatic pause*
We haven’t a freakin’ clue. Footballer, apparently. Arsenal. Ooh, arse. And ooh, we like how his surname is spookily close to ‘bender’.
Haha, bender.
Wanna wanna wanna put a face to the bender bender bender…? Go on then.
Now you can’t tell us that wasn’t thrilling.
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- We’re actually still trying to work out who Kim Kardashian is. In the meantime, let’s look at this magazine cover.
- Horrible door.
- Which English actor who we already have a major crush on has a bottom like this?
- Cheryl and Ashley are finally divorced. The world stops moving, like in that show FlashForward that was on Channel Five, ergo, nobody watched it.
- And the Marc Jacobs award for Never Knowingly Appearing in a Photograph With a Shirt On Goes To… (rustle, rustle of envelope being opened) Jake Shears!
**does quick search on google and decides to commit every fibre of being to stalking this Danish delight** Up the Arse(nal)
Oh, nice.
oh come on,,,it’s not like his willy was out!
somebody needs a spanking……