Kylie’s touring the US! *puts fingers in ears*

Sssssssssh.

After Kylie’s last major assault on the media – which resulted in a phenomenal 9,000 record sales (we’re expecting to get Molotoved by Kylie die-hards, incidentally) – Kylie Minogue off-of small (height/talent/originality/personality/etc.) has announced the plans for her hotly anticipated-by-a-few US tour. So quite how many front rooms she’s planning to sell out is anyone’s guess.

*guesses*

Three.

And a half.

Oh and if you hadn’t guessed, we’re queer, we’re here, we lost three whole pounds in a spinning class this morning, we nearly died afterwards, and we think Kylie Minogue is fucking shite. Get used to it.

And in conclusion, the US has enough talentless tarts without her turning up.

*curtseys*

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21 comments to “Kylie’s touring the US! *puts fingers in ears*”

  1. I shall be turning right outside of the UK from now on, until this Kylie nonsense stops.

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  2. Call it a day, Kylie.

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  3. I’m presuming you are huge fans of MADONNA….hmmm i thought so….
    Why all the dissing. Whether you love or hate her, you cannot dismiss her success, she has done phenomenally well, and her lack of talent…well maybe her and madonna are sisters!!!
    Bring on the tour…….

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  4. Why on earth is Madonna always pitted against Kylie? They’re women, that’s where the comparison ends. It’s such a lame cliche that if you diss Kylie, it’s obviously by way of commitment to Madonna. Shock horror, but people do actually like/hate the pair of them in equal measure.

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  5. Pre-sales are going extremely well. Last tour brought in 70,000,000 so a brief North American visit to test the waters is a good thing. Even one-time pop star now recovering pill popper American Idol judge is recording Kylie rejected songs. First Boombox and then last night she premiered her lipsynching version of “i’m just here for the music” on American Idol. Go to You tube for a LAUGH! Someone used to choregraph for the likes of Janet Jackson…..Remember Kylie is a goddess. Madonna is a goddess. Choose who you worship in harmony and remember the teachings of the little red string and the little black dress.

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  6. Do you know what, the only thing I prefer about Kylie to Madonna is that she’s not into the whole Kaballah bollocks. But then, she’s probably never even heard of it. ‘Ooh, Kaballah? Delicious. Can I have mine on brown toast?’

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  7. I hate Kylie, I love Madonna… but shock horror I can also think, off the top of my head, of at least 27 other female artists I also love. My hatred of Kylie is fuck all to do with Madonna – it’s simply coz I think Kylie’s shit.

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  8. How the fuck could she be shit…you may not like her but she is not shit. Go buy Madonna a new stylist, that outfit she wore recently is what i would call shit!..have a good day

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  9. How is Kylie not shit? Can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t act, can’t get dressed without a leading gay in the room, has the personality of a panty liner. The woman is almost a dictionary definition of shit.

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  10. But I quite liked ‘Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi’…

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  11. I’m presuming Shadino is Pilar wearing a new bonnet. In which case this is very funny. But if I’m wrong it’s very very sad.

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  12. Kylie does good music videos though! :-) I used to hate on her but I like about 5 of her 50 or so singles — so I’m being honest. And since I’m being frank … Kylie, if you’re reading this … STOP SINGING THROUGH YOUR NOSE. Thankings!

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  13. Angela, I’m still sporting the same old bonnet, my love. I hate Kylie. I hate Madonna. I also hate Shadino, but don’t tell anyone.

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  14. oh dear oh dear…lol

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  15. It makes me laff how people love to diss artists. You are all welcome to your opinions, and who you like. But at the end of the day, you probably have an office job working your 9-5 day and earning a living….atleast she is making millions and doing what she loves…it’s always so easy to sit there and slate someone, but at the end of the day could you be up there doing it…good on anyone who has a longevity of 25 years…..

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  16. That’s exactly the point… someone with such a glaring lack of talent doesn’t deserve to have the nice job she does earning millions of pounds. IT’S NOT FAIR.
    Especially when people who have more talent than her in their little fingernails are scraping a living…

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  17. oh well…go your tap shoes on then…

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  18. oh rather GO get your tap shoes on then lol…..the violins are playing….

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  19. I think I have a crush on Shadino.

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  20. lol…bring it on

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  21. Shadino, love you, love eveything about you, thinking about being you for haloween, but come on honey- Kylie is just a poor mans Hazel Dean.

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