Forget the swish-swishing of tiny trotters and let us sit back, sup our soya capp and appreciate the cheenius that was Tilda Swinton at Cannes yester eve. Her undercut (which she works better than Alice ‘we just don’t get it’ Dellal) reminds us of our very first boyfriend – the one that got expelled for writing ‘skoole is shit’ on the blackboard. Always were a sucker for a dyslexic bad boy. And we like that she goes sans make-up without making a point of going sans make-up. Unlike any star with a hint of a botty, who makes a rotund point of ‘representing real women out there’. Yes, it seems ‘real’ has replaced the term ‘curvy’ which of course replaced the term ‘fat’, which in turn replaced the term, ‘please leave’.