It’s Eurovish tomo! Hooray!
Those dastardly Easties will probably win everything! Boo.
Jade Ewen is to je die for! Yey!
We stand a chance of not coming last! Also yey! Also don’t give a rat’s cunt (phrase courtesy of Samantha Fox, incidentally. We’ll tell you about that another time) ’cause it’s all ironic, right? Also yey!
And c) and d)
So owing to all of the above and then some follow through, let’s clap very loudly for Jade, perhaps do a few cartwheels in her honour, and watch her doing the infamous Bucket o’ Questions courtesy of yours truly, dearly, quite conqueerly. Oh and ring-a-ding-sing-a-ling along to her lovely ditty, ‘It’s My Time’, as penned by Sir Dame Lady Lloyd Webber and Diane ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ Warren. It’s got not-coming-last written all over it.