Well it looks like bollocks so it must be worth something…

But is it art?

Would you buy this shit? Would you buy this shit for £22,000? Would you buy this shit if the shit was supposed to resemble Madonna and Guy? Would you buy this shit if it was made out of your own shit? Would you buy this shit if it was made out of Guy and Madonna’s shit? Would you buy this if you were into scat and Madonna had had a dirty protest all over your face?

Some shit-lovin’ homie’s apparently going to buy this work of terribly important contemporary art for just such a sum when it goes up for sale in Scotland’s glittering Glasgow on Saturday, mmm-hmmmmn.

It’s by Peter Howson and it’s his portrait of Madonna and Guy, in happier times. Which was 2005 according to our notes. Now call us philistines – call us Australian if you will (but don’t) – but those ropey old portrait pests just off Piccadilly Circus (Shaftesbury Avenue exit. Opposite the place that sells rubber pizzas, round the corner from Boots) manage a better likeness than this, and what’s with the ill-matching curtains?

*gets out red Crayola; draws a cock ‘n’ balls in no particular order; sleeps with someone at Saatchi Gallery; mutters the word ‘subversive’; sells cock ‘n’ balls for 123 million pounds; Lucien Freud calls and asks for his mojo*

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3 comments to “Well it looks like bollocks so it must be worth something…”

  1. Give you 20p for it…

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  2. It looks……scottish.

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  3. http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/music/news/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=147668119&GT1=61501

    hope links are allowed. promise it’s legit :) but FYI the painting didn’t meet the £15,000 reserve price! OH dear!

    Brian Clements, Director at McTears Auctioneers, said: “Surprisingly Peter Howson’s controversial piece Madonna and Guy did not sell on the day. The painting is still for sale and we would be delighted to hear from anyone who is interested in this much talked about piece of Scottish art history.”

    “Surprisingly”?

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