Would you like a brown penis?

Brown, girl, even on your ring, tra la la la la

Now, with a positively scorchio weekend coming up in London – it’s like Magaluf out there, we swear! – this is an item we are taking very seriously indeed. Not that we don’t take men in skimpy swimwear very seriously indeed in all weathers, you understand.

Someone clever in a white coat has come up with a fabric which you can tan clean through. Yes, no more pesky tan lines (but we like pesky tan lines, we hear you cry. Shut up, we cry back. We’re trying to write a piece here).

With these little fellas, the sun can tan you right through the cloth – which might be why the range is called Tan Through by Kiniki (remember those saucy underwear catalogues advertised in the back of News of the Screws in the olden days?) though we are warned the seams are not ‘Tan through-able’ so you’ll have to adjust those around a bit.

So now, not only can you get rid of the sexy porn star tan line, you can also get full skin cancer on your foreskin. Hooray for science!

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2 comments to “Would you like a brown penis?”

  1. I’m not one for an all-over meself, but wouldn’t like to put other people off.

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  2. Wierdly 80’s style and colours.

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