We almost choked on our vodka soda with three limes, we did. And not in a good way. Women of a certain age/level of madness shouldn’t flash their fat arses on prime-time telly. It’s just not on.
So Susan Boyle (sidebar: we’re not on board with the SuBo thing. Two syllables as opposed to three. It hardly takes the strain off) is the closest thing to being officially mad without the doctor’s note.
And talking of notes, can we make one about the whole ’48 and never been kissed’ thing. Frankly it’s just weird. Not cute or endearing, just weird. Ugly people get kissed too, you know. That’s what other ugly people are for. And prostitutes. And dark rooms. But people don’t want to go near someone who’s mad as a box of hair.
And talking of the one no-one was interested in, doesn’t Susan Boyle look like Hamble off Playschool…?
ps. If she really is on the simple side, well done Simon Cowell et al for pushing her to the brink.