There are salty snacks *questions last night’s asparagus starter* and then there are McCoy crisps. Now McCoy crisps – or chips, if you are from t’other side of the big lake they call Atlantis – have settled on a rather questionable advertising campaign. Rather than align their brand with a demographic that not only understands the two neutrals and a splash rule but also reads, they have decided to go with the demographic that eats with their mouth full, farts in front of their mother, calls each other ‘dude’ (in a non-ironic fashion), drives BMW cars and goes into gay bars to pick up women. That demographic, dear enlightened reader, is known as ABCunt.
Their disposable income – if they have any left after spending it all on alloy wheels, Lynx deodorant, Nuts magazine and Next underwear – is spent in carpeted pubs standing round games machines and munching on snacks for ‘men’. But – and this is major but with a side of lumpen butt crack – you are not a ‘man’ in the McCoy way of thinking if you are smart or cultured or, god-forbid, have a field of reference outside of moronic rock music and football.
Because, according to the McCoys advert, if you happen to know what the term is, in ballet, for a graceful bending of the knees (blow job?), you are most certainly not a man and as a result your friends will be sickened by you and most probably utter ‘backs to the wall, lads’ in your presence and then, like something out of a one of their sci-fi comics, you’ll get sucked out of the pub by a giant plexiglass tube.
So the message is clear ladies, gentlemen and other – only eat McCoy crisps if you want people to think you’re a cunt.
(Oh, see the ad after the jump. Which rhymes with cunt. *curtseys*)