Long has Kylie been accused of being a bloodsucking try-hard who does nought but rape and pillage the sounds and styles and smells of all who cross her path, but *adopts David Attenborough tones* here we finally have living, wheezing proof. Poor little Andres Velencoso off-of eSpanish doesn’t even know she’s there, and if he does he’s doing a jolly good impression of pretending she’s not there. You know, like you do when you see you neighbour on the tube. Bah… Just look into the distance or pick that damn cuticle that’s been catching things all day. We hear you Andres, we hear you. Oh, and in case you forgot, we’ve also seen you. As in all of you. As in front bottom. As in pass the tissues love, you’ve pulled.
P.S. – See fans of the Minogue, we can write an entire Kylie-based feature without resorting to churlish name calling
P.P.S. – *coughs* ‘Nasty Little Cunt’
P.P.P.S – The end
I like his penis.
That’s why men like Kylie: she’s so freakishly small it makes their cocks look enorme.