The trout formerly known as Kylie Minogue off-of Neighbours (we would say ‘artist’ but dollying around in some clothes someone dressed you up in is not our idea of ‘art’) – here photographed looking every one of her 63 years – will be apparently changing religion to marry her Spanish boyfriend Andres (yeah, sorry it took us so long to get round to this story, but our hands were shaking with anger so hard we couldn’t hit the keys).
Despite it being absolutely unnecessary to change your religion to marry a Catholic – especially when you’ve been around the block as much as this one has: will she be wearing white at that lavish Catholic-infused ceremony? one wonders – Kylie thought she would finally embrace the forces of homophobia officially. Why spend your life taking money off the gays and never doing anything for them in return when you can make an official statement about joining the Homophobe Party.
We hope you and Andres and Pope Benedict will be very happy together.
*curtsies, leaves room never to return*